Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Dealing with children's doubts.
Do children have doubts? Do they have serious questions? Is dealing with the doubts of children as important as handling the questions of youth or adults?
The reason I ask is two fold. One is because a young lady said of her Sunday School experience, "we were spoon fed pretty much all of the time." I got the distinct impression she felt underestimated as a child, not dealt with seriously and even a little railroaded.
Secondly is the thought provoking description Marcus J Borg gives of his childhood doubt. In his book "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time" Marcus writes that as a child he first accepted 'Jesus is the divine saviour in whom one is to believe for the sake of receiving eternal life,' "...without difficulty and without effort." The reason being, he says, is that childhood is a state of "precritical naivete - ... in which we take for granted whatever the significant authority figures in our lives tell us to be true is indeed true." But this state of childhood belief was not to last. He goes on,
"Some time in elementary school [between 6 - 8 years old - ed.], my first theological conundrum occurred. I remember being puzzled about how to put together two different things I had heard about God: that God was "everywhere present," and that God was, "up in heaven." ... How could this be? I wondered. My young mind resolved the puzzle in favour of God up in heaven."
All well? Not really.
... unwittingly, I had taken the fist step in removing God from the world. The solution I arrived at indicated that I had come to think of God as a supernatural being "out there." God became distant and remote, far away and removed from the world, except on special interventions, such as the ones described in the Bible.
From there Borg's questions multiplied to the point where as a young adult he confesses, "My childhood understanding of Christianity had collapsed, but nothing had replaced it. I had become a 'closet agnostic,' someone who did not know what to make of it all." Far from minor, Borg's childhood question and the resolution to which he came started a trend of doubt that profoundly affected his faith and his relationship with God.
For me, as someone who ministers to children, it also raises the question of how I handle childhood questions and doubts.
Here are a few thoughts.
1. Remember that a child can have real questions which can have a profound and lasting impact on their life. Children under your care today are battling with such questions.
2. Resist the temptation to overly spoon feed children. It is easy to push information onto children and then feel satisfied that we have taught them something meaningful. Ask yourself, am I giving room for questions? Am I encouraging exploration and dialogue?
3. Create an open climate in which questions are welcome, accepted, explored and tackled.
Never squash or shrug off a child's sincere question. If a child says, "I don't know about..." or "How come...?" or "Is God...?" take time to explore it, follow up and see if there is a way you can help resolve it. If you say you will research an answer make sure you come back with your results.
Actively invite questions. For example, create a question box and devote class time simply to issues about which children have questions. Or, as part of the story/discussion time, have a segment called, "The biggest, stickiest question time" in which you seek sincere questions. As you wrestle with questions with the children you will demonstrate how to handle questions well; how to ask questions of our questions, how to hold fire on things we don't understand, how to see faulty thinking and how to rest in God despite questions. It's a wonderful thing if young children learn early to deal constructively with doubt.
5. Share your own doubts. In this way you will teach children to live in the tension of faith and doubt without feeling the need to reject faith. This, after all, is the tension God's people need always to live in [if you don't believe me, read the psalms]. It's helpful for children to see it in action.
6. Mot importantly, pray regularly for the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to children in ways to dispel doubt and create faith. In the end it is only the Holy Spirit who can settle the troubled mind and work doubt resistant faith.
I sometimes wonder, if Borg had had such an environment and people to which he could go to help him with his questions, would the outcome have been different? I then wonder, with what doubts are our children wrestling today and what will they find in our ministry to help them.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
"I miss being with God."
I read the following in a book called, Listening to children on the Spiritual Journey.
I was deeply challenged by it for a number of reasons... take a read first....
Loraine (age eight) liked her new church. Happily she made her way to the children's activities on Sunday mornings, ready to enjoy the music, laughter a creatively presented short lesson, and the energetic young children's pastor. Although Lorraine had fun at her new church, as she snuggled into bed one evening she said, "Mommy, I miss being with God." And her mother took time to listen and fin out what was behind those words.
Loraine talked about children's worship at the church they had attended previously. There the children were welcomed into a special place to "be with God, to talk to God, to listen to God, and to hear the stories of God." In that calm and quite place they watched the stories enacted with simple figures, they wondered about the story, and then chose who they would respond. Loraine remembered a Sunday when she had chosen to go to the Bible table, and Miss Cathy had read the story to her again. Here is a child who had experienced being in God's presence and hungered to be with God again.
Is Loraine's desire unusual or do many children know what it is to sense God's closeness and treasure those times. Listening to children has led us to believe that they can experience God at an early age and that they love to be in God's presence. ..."
Here are my questions....
Would children in your church say they meet God in your children's ministry?
What could you do to foster and nurture that more?
What might you be doing that is actually getting in the way?
I find these questions really challenging as I reflect on the children's ministry of our church, and our worship services.
What are your thoughts?
