Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Dealing with children's doubts.


Do children have doubts? Do they have serious questions? Is dealing with the doubts of children as important as handling the questions of youth or adults?

The reason I ask is two fold. One is because a young lady said of her Sunday School experience, "we were spoon fed pretty much all of the time." I got the distinct impression she felt underestimated as a child, not dealt with seriously and even a little railroaded.

Secondly is the thought provoking description Marcus J Borg gives of his childhood doubt. In his book "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time" Marcus writes that as a child he first accepted 'Jesus is the divine saviour in whom one is to believe for the sake of receiving eternal life,' "...without difficulty and without effort." The reason being, he says, is that childhood is a state of "precritical naivete - ... in which we take for granted whatever the significant authority figures in our lives tell us to be true is indeed true." But this state of childhood belief was not to last. He goes on,

"Some time in elementary school [between 6 - 8 years old - ed.], my first theological conundrum occurred. I remember being puzzled about how to put together two different things I had heard about God: that God was "everywhere present," and that God was, "up in heaven." ... How could this be? I wondered. My young mind resolved the puzzle in favour of God up in heaven."
All well? Not really.

... unwittingly, I had taken the fist step in removing God from the world. The solution I arrived at indicated that I had come to think of God as a supernatural being "out there." God became distant and remote, far away and removed from the world, except on special interventions, such as the ones described in the Bible.
From there Borg's questions multiplied to the point where as a young adult he confesses, "My childhood understanding of Christianity had collapsed, but nothing had replaced it. I had become a 'closet agnostic,' someone who did not know what to make of it all." Far from minor, Borg's childhood question and the resolution to which he came started a trend of doubt that profoundly affected his faith and his relationship with God.
For me, as someone who ministers to children, it also raises the question of how I handle childhood questions and doubts.
Here are a few thoughts.
1. Remember that a child can have real questions which can have a profound and lasting impact on their life. Children under your care today are battling with such questions.
2. Resist the temptation to overly spoon feed children. It is easy to push information onto children and then feel satisfied that we have taught them something meaningful. Ask yourself, am I giving room for questions? Am I encouraging exploration and dialogue?
3. Create an open climate in which questions are welcome, accepted, explored and tackled.
Never squash or shrug off a child's sincere question. If a child says, "I don't know about..." or "How come...?" or "Is God...?" take time to explore it, follow up and see if there is a way you can help resolve it. If you say you will research an answer make sure you come back with your results.
Actively invite questions. For example, create a question box and devote class time simply to issues about which children have questions. Or, as part of the story/discussion time, have a segment called, "The biggest, stickiest question time" in which you seek sincere questions. As you wrestle with questions with the children you will demonstrate how to handle questions well; how to ask questions of our questions, how to hold fire on things we don't understand, how to see faulty thinking and how to rest in God despite questions. It's a wonderful thing if young children learn early to deal constructively with doubt.
5. Share your own doubts. In this way you will teach children to live in the tension of faith and doubt without feeling the need to reject faith. This, after all, is the tension God's people need always to live in [if you don't believe me, read the psalms]. It's helpful for children to see it in action.
6. Mot importantly, pray regularly for the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to children in ways to dispel doubt and create faith. In the end it is only the Holy Spirit who can settle the troubled mind and work doubt resistant faith.
I sometimes wonder, if Borg had had such an environment and people to which he could go to help him with his questions, would the outcome have been different? I then wonder, with what doubts are our children wrestling today and what will they find in our ministry to help them.

1 comment:

  1. Good stuff! It is too easy to shrug off the hard questions or shy away from them, but the importance of knowing that all people wrestle and still believe in God is a good one.
    Ayden (4) had a question about God the other day and I said "I don't know". His answer was, Grandad knows, he knows all about God. :)

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