Helping Children Experience God: An Introduction to the Children and Worship Program

Children and Worship is an innovative way to introduce children to the practice of worship. It is a cooperative ministry of the Reformed Church in America (RCA), the Christian Reformed Church in North America (CRC), and The Presbyterian Church in Canada (PCC).

Children in worship is a way to adapt the pattern of adult worship to a child's level. It makes use of a dedicated worship space to lead children through a liturgy of worship. The following video is a great introduction to the practice of Children and Worship.



In reflection, I have a couple of reactions to this.

Firstly, I think it's an excellent way to help children practice some of the disciplines of listening, praying, singing, wondering, etc. The 'slow down' approach of children in worship is a much needed corrective to our overly busy, activity focused programs. Once learned and practiced I believe it will genuinely help children to connect with the Lord, perhaps for the rest of their lives.

However,  I'm not sure about the emphasis on a 'sacred place' and a sacred liturgy. This way of seeing 'worship' along with idea of a 'sanctuary' is, to my mind, more akin to the Old Testament. The emphasis in the NT, and the one the children need to grasp, is on the presence of the Holy Spirit within us and the church as the body of Christ that meets and builds each other up.  I preferred the emphasis on a 'special time' in which we can slow down, reflect, pray and so on.

Added to this, it seems very adult led, and the children are for the most part passive recipients. I would like to leave room to encourage children to lead and bring things to the experience in an age-appropriate way. In this way they learn to be contributers, not just passengers.

Therefore, I would love to use this approach (or a similar one) from time to time. I probably wouldn't do it every week, but I can see the need and benefit of it for the spiritual nurture of children.  I would also make sure that children participate and are included in the 'adult' worship service.

Outreach Playgroup in action

For many years now Blacktown Christian Reformed Church have been running a free community playgroup. For a fair few of these only one lady from our church has been running the club and welcoming community members. In 2011 we changed the day that playgroup met in order to allow other mothers from church, who worked part time, to attend. We also put up a permanent sign advertising the free playgroup. This has seen a huge amount of growth in the group and most of this has been community members starting to attend!

The group is fairly casual starting with coffee/juice and free play time. The children enjoy some fruit and water while the parents or carers share morning tea (and the kids join in too of course!) each parent/ carer brings a piece of fruit and something to share for morning tea, BCRC supplies the drinks and everything else at no charge to our guests.

After this we join together for some singing– in 2011 we began using the J is for Jesus CD from emu music! The kids love the songs and memorise them and parents tell us that they sing them all the time at home! We then share a bible story and do a craft that coincides with the story and is designed for the children to have something to take home to use to share the story with other parents and siblings! We also occasionally break out the musical instruments for the kids to enjoy some music and dancing together! Parents and carers are encouraged to take some time to socialise however are responsible for their own children while at playgroup. We have become a real community with everyone looking out for one another!

Through the relationships built and the story time a few mothers began to ask about the gospel message and as a result have started to meet together for a daytime bible study group run by BCRC ladies with child minding made available! Of course this amount of growth wouldn't be able to happen without a growth in volunteers coming to help! We have had volunteers ranging from 17 to 70! Some uni students with a morning spare as well as grandmas (who’s grandchildren aren't close by), retirees and mothers of teenagers with a day off! These volunteers help with set up and pack up as well as chatting with the mums and serving in the kitchen! Their role is vital and we have found that in our community many mums/ dads don't have extended family in Australia so really enjoy having grandparent figures around for advice and fellowship!

Nearly every playgroup day in 2011 saw a new face visit! And even though not everyone comes every week everyone does come back more than once! Each week we range from 10 to 25 parents/ carers and even more kids! 2012 is set to be a year with even more growth and outreach opportunities for our playgroup! BCRC recently invested in a lot more outdoor toys as well as a super shed to store them in! so far this term we have had 6 new families join us and have seen one mum and her two daughters join us on Sunday’s for children’s church

Worship for Children

I recently read this article from the Cory Centre ( http://corycenter.org/childrens-ministry-ideas-find-great-worship-for-children/) 

I found it helpful. 

"Honest confession: I do not really like kids worship music.  I find most of it bland, cheesy, and generally annoying to listen to.  My experience has been that most children’s worship music does not appeal to children or parents either.  Many times over the past decade in ministry I have parents ask me, “Do you have any worship music that my kids will actually like and it won’t drive me crazy in the car?”

“Well, no.”

My encouragement to those of you who serve in children’s and family ministry is to attenuate your ears to good worship music.   Listen to everything.  Find out what children enjoy.  Ask to look at iPod playlists.  Subscribe to a music program like Spotify to discover new music.  Listen, listen, listen.

Here’s what to listen for:

Action. Does the music move you?  Is the rhythm and sound so catchy that it will get a 4^thgrade boy up out of his chair?  I do not think every worship song requires actions, but songs that promote it are helpful.

Suggestion – Jump Up (Track 1 from the album You Are: A Tru Story)

Instruments.   Children have defined musical tastes.  They like to hear a band.  Most children’s music does not sound anything like the kind of music from TV Shows children enjoy.

Suggestion – Live It Out (entire album from Amber Sky Records)

Singability. I know, “singability” is not a word, but it is an important worship concept.  When we choose worship songs, we need to choose songs that are easy to sing.  If they are not easy to sing, kids will tune out and not sing them.  What is the song’s pace?  How fast are the words sung?  Can kids keep up?

Suggestion: Happy Day Everyday (entire album by Yancy)

Content.  In my ministry context, one of our worship distinctives is choosing songs about God.  That may sound odd, but it’s true.  Many worship songs are about us and what we are going to do (I’m going to praise, dance, sing, etc…).  Those songs have a place in worship, but we need to introduce kids to songs about God, who He is and what He has done.

Suggestion: Awesome God by Sovereign Grace, Seeds Family Worship, KidsWorld’s Jump Up! Album from Christ Community Church "

In Wantirna we are now going to use some songs from Awesome God by Sovereign Grace. 

Let me know if you have discovered any good music for children to share. 

The impact of Children's ministry.

Group Ministry surveyed nearly 600 churches to research the impact of children's ministry in churches. They came up with six major findings.

1. Children's ministry is a major conduit for getting families involved in ministry "Families in our survey indicated that they're tuned in to the presence and role of the children's ministry. They also assess it as high value ministry with 76% stating that children's ministry played a key role in their church."

2. Families with kids in the children's ministry are some of the most active and committed members in a church.



3. A healthy children's ministry attracts families to your church. "… 66% said the children's ministry program was "very important" int heir overall consideration when they chose their current church."

4. An unhealthy or declining children's ministry program may result in families leaving a church. "These findings underscore how important children are to families - so important in fact, that parents will sacrifice other priorities to ensure that their children have positive, nurturing experiences in their faith community."

5. Parents say children's ministry makes a positive impact in their child's life. "By far the greatest benefit was this: It helps my kids develop a personal, growing faith."

6. Parents say children's ministry has changed their family's behaviour at home.

We may have already known these things intuitively. However, they have two implications.

Firstly, they're especially encouraging when we feel that our ministry is unappreciated, unnoticed or of minor value to the health and life of the church. Nothing could be further from the truth and it's time to bury these unhelpful thoughts.

Secondly, they're an argument for ensuring that in any church, children's ministry is adequately resourced and supported. Any investment that improves you church's children's ministry is 'time and money well spent.'

Finally, an argument for children's ministry 'because it helps my church grow' is not the primary reason why we minister to children well. We ultimately do so because God is concerned for children and we aim to see them know and serve Christ. Yet a church that minister's well to children reflects God's concern that "not one of these little ones be lost" and therefore, it's not surprising that by His grace, a healthy children's ministry is intimately intertwined with and conducive to the overall health of a church.

You can use the survey to see the impact of children's ministry in your own context. You can download it by going to Web Exclusives at www.childrensministry.com

Worship for the generations.

How can you help your congregation become more mindful of children in services and to have a more intergenerational approach to worship? I recently read about a man who began by choosing a group of eight to 12 people made up of the different generations of the congregation. Together they studied the purpose of worship ("not their current or preferred way of practicing.") He then gave them a "worship diary" in with they would record their feelings and reactions to the parts of the service. Next, their diaries were copied, without their names and distributed to other team members. They would then come together to discuss how worship could be practiced in the most meaningful way.
The power of this approach is the way it helps people understand and empathise with one another followed by the search for a common approach that embraces the generations.
The reason why many churches do not practice intergenerational worship is that they lack a forum in which to discuss and implement meaningful intergenerational worship practices.

Question: What is the forum in your church that facilities this kind of discussion and openness? How does your church shape the services to ensure that it reaches everyone who comes?

Children in Church

The holidays present a wonderful opportunity to engage children in the worship services.

Below is a list of roles and tasks that children could do in the services. You may start with just one or two and gradually expand the possibilities as both children and adults become more familiar and confident.

This may be a new challenge for you and your church. How do you get started?  Try these steps to make it a reality.

1.  Discuss the involvement of children with the church leadership. See what the possibilities and limitations would be.

2. Let parents know that children will be invited to participate.

3. Ask the children which roles or tasks they would like to try. Tell them exactly what they will be doing and how they will find out when they will be needed. Write their names next to the tasks.

4. Contact those who are responsible for the tasks and discuss with them the best way to include the children. For example, put the child on the roster or contact them during the week with the Bible reading.
Try not to make it just a job or task. See it as an opportunity to disciple a child in faith and service. Discuss how the adults could share with the child in a simple way their heart for the task, how it serves God and others, their reliance on the Holy Spirit, their attitude of love and to pray with the child throughout the task, to give feedback and encouragement.

5. Don't ask too much or put pressure on the child if for example, they shy away at the last moment. Make it a positive experience and help them gain confidence. Pray for them, give them feedback, encourage them and look for another opportunity to try something else.

The list! Let me know what you could add to it.

• Helping set up the church.
• Praying before the service. 
• Greeting at the door.
• Welcome, call to worship.
• Leading singing: 
(Actions with songs, leading children’s songs and/or other).
• Helping with sound.
• Congregational prayer (eg. praying a prewritten prayer) 
• Bible and other readings (eg. part of baptismal form.)
• Sharing about their faith  
(testimony, interview)
• Helping with children’s story/ministry.
• Taking offering
• Playing an instrument during the offering.
• Praying for the offering.
• Praying for other children after the service.
• Talking/playing with (new) children. 
• Helping to serve coffee/drinks and food.
• Packing up. 

... I'm sure there are more.....

To evaluate how well your church involves children and to get even more ideas, download this Children in worship questionnaire and share it with others.

Recruiting leaders

As this year draws to a close, it is time to begin recruiting for the next. Waiting till January or February next year is too late.

Here are a few things you can do now to help you find leaders for 2012.

1. Pray for leaders. Together with your team seek God for the leaders you need next year.
2. Confirm which of your current leaders will continue next year. Make sure you approach this in a positive way. For leaders you wish to keep, begin by affirming their value, gifts and contribution (hopefully this won’t come as a shock to them since you’ve been doing it all year.) Then discuss their commitment into next year.
3. Create a list of potential new leaders. Be clear on what you are looking for. Choose people (both old and young) in whom you see genuine potential for children’s ministry.
4. Create written job descriptions that clarify the role, responsibilities and commitment you are looking for.
5. Between now and the end of the year invite potential leaders to come to the ministry and involve them in some way.
6. Set aside time to personally talk to potential leaders about children’s ministry. Don't just ask them to do a job. Cast your vision, convey your enthusiasm and uncover their heart for children's ministry. 

Here are some questions that need specific answers.

1. How is your team mobilised to pray for new leaders?
2. When have you planned to speak to existing leaders personally?
3. What names are on your list of potential leaders?
4. Do you have a written job description?
5. On what days will potential leaders visit your ministry?
6. What will you say to potential leaders?

Telling Great Stories

Watch this video for tips and reminders about how to tell stories that connect with kids.

Planning for Faith Development

During my (Mary Jo’s) recent holiday in the USA, I had the privilege of worshiping in the congregation where I worshiped as a child and teenager. Back then, it was a middle-size congregation, using a middle-size facility, with a very predictable program. It was in this church that I was mentored as a junior Sunday school teacher. Things have changed in the intervening years. The congregation has grown in numbers and moved to a new, much larger facility. Connected with that growth — possibly one of the reasons for it — is the congregation’s deliberate commitment to ministry with children. This includes staffing and a long term plan for faith development. I happened to visit on the Sunday when this was demonstrated with both the installation of the Children’s Ministry staff for the new school year (it starts in September over there) and an infant baptism.

The following information is from their web site:

Faith Journey  

At Grace, we believe that faith in Jesus Christ is a gift from God — given freely, neither earned nor deserved. For some individuals, faith is first realized in baptism. Others realize it first in a conscious process of conversion. Whenever faith begins, its development continues for a lifetime. Taking the Faith Journey means living out a commitment to make Jesus Christ the Lord of Life. 

Children’s Faith Journey (birth - grade 4)  Youth Faith Journey (grades 5-12) 

Faith formation activities at Grace begin with instruction and encouragement for parents of newly baptized children. The faith journey begins in infancy with the Rite of Welcoming a Child, enrolment in Grace’s Cradle Roll, the Rite of Holy Baptism. 

Faith Journey Sunday school classes begin with preschoolers and continue through 12th grade. They follow a 9-year curriculum plan that includes the study of the Bible, Ten Commandments, Apostles’ Creed, Lord’s Prayer, Sacraments, church history and morality as well as leadership and witnessing skills, stewardship and personal spiritual disciplines. 

The Sunday school hour is 9:30-10:30. Children and Youth are expected to worship with their families at 8:00 or 11:00, where most services are fairly traditional, but include children’s addresses. A nursery is available during Sunday morning services and the Sunday school hour for children from infancy to age three. 

In addition to the regular classes, the Faith Journey includes special Sunday afternoon family events and ‘rites’ of passage at various points of the journey, plus camps and service opportunities. The lifelong faith journey continues through many educational and service opportunities for people at different stages of adulthood. 

I didn’t have time to get answers to all my questions, eg: How do they get family commitment? How do they involve children who come to the church at an older stage?

But two things impressed me most as I spoke to people at Grace church about their program.

First is the word ‘expected’. There is a congregation-wide expectation that all children will participate in the entire Faith Journey program, regularly. And that adults would continue the journey. What do our churches ‘expect’ of their families, children and youth?

Second was the plan — the idea that leaders, parents, and children know from the start what they will be doing. They also have a framework that allows them to see how what they are doing at any one point relates to the overall journey. How far ahead are our congregations planning their work with children, youth and families?

Used with permission from Uniting church Mission Resourcing SA, Children and Family

Family mission.

Ever thought of a family mission trip? While there are many things to consider, the benefits of such an experience may make it tremendously worthwhile. Earlier this year father and son, Bruce and Hayden Smith from Bray Park, joined a team to the Solomons and I asked Hayden to pen a few words about his experience. Here is what he wrote.

"When I went to the Solomon islands Bethesda mission trip I didn’t think that I would get to do much of the building, but when we started we were being taught how to do lots of things like roofing, concreting, brick laying, frame working, cladding and building a heap of things.
I would encourage parents of teenaged children to let their kids go on a mission trip because this was one of the best experiences of my life. I learnt so much, met some of the locals in the Solomon Islands and saw so many different things. If you send your child they will come back refreshed and will have lots to say and teach you about. We also had lots of fun snorkelling and swimming in the beautiful ocean over there, the ocean is clear and wonderfully warm.
There are not many rules in the Solomon islands so when we were driving we were standing on the back of cars and trucks, when I was over there I went fishing overnight and caught 3 fish it was lots of fun but it started to rain and we were under a tarp for 4 hours.
After we had done all the work in the afternoon we would go and play soccer with the locals and have lots of fun we taught them a couple of new games like clap ball and doge ball. One of the locals gave me a necklace to say good bye to me and I really liked that. The food over there was pretty good and we had the locals cook us a feast that was lovely then after they performed a music for us.
I loved this mission trip and I would go again if I have the chance.
Hayden Smith aged 14"


As parents we aim to provide experiences for our children that will help them grow into people who serve and please the Lord. A mission trip ticks many boxes in it's potential to be a wonderful formative experience. I'm sure Hayden and his father are much richer for the trip.

Have you gone on a similar trip? I'd love to hear about it, especially how it impacted your children and relationship as a family.

It's only an hour.

Most Sunday children’s ministry goes for about an hour. One day as I was talking to a group when someone said, “It’s only an hour.”

An hour is not much time. Can you really make a difference in an hour? Is it worth the thought, effort, time and prayer?

Have you ever read the following?

If you want to know the value of a year, ask a P.O.W. that has lost his freedom.
If you want to know the value of a month, ask a mother that has given birth to a premature baby.
If you want to know the value of a week, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
If you want to know the value of a day, ask a child on their birthday.
If you want to know the value of an hour, ask lovers waiting to meet.
If you want to know the value of a minute, ask a person that just missed their flight.
If you want to know the value of a second, ask a person that just avoided a serious car accident.
If you want to know the value of a millisecond, ask an Olympic silver medallist.
The value of time is what you put into it and an hour can make a huge difference.

I mentor a young child for one hour a week through Kids Hope. Every week I spend only an hour but I know that this one hour of personal care, repeated every week, makes a huge difference in the life of that little boy.

There was a book with a lofty goal titled “Making your Children’s Ministry the Best Hour of of Every Kid’s Week.”

What is the best hour in your children’s lives at the moment? How is it influencing and shaping them? By God’s grace could your hour become life changing? Could it be the difference between walking in Christ and wandering in the world? How might it become that?

Don’t underestimate the time you have, instead pray and work in such a way that you may make the most of it.

What's happened in the hour you have with children?

Proactive Care for children with Allergies.

Most people are aware of anaphylaxis and how serious it can be. However, few churches have policies or training in how to deal with such a serious allergic reaction.

Geelong has tackled the issue and has created an anaphylaxis policy.
In short they have,

1. put up 'Nut free' signs through out the rooms used by children and prohibited foods containing nuts.
2. posted instructions on how to administer an EpiPen on the wall in every room used by children.
3. informed teachers and parents about the procedure.
4. obtained parent consent for children who have allergies.

 Their excellent work demonstrates a proactive attitude to the care of children in the church.
If you'd like a copy of their policy please simple email me since they are happy to share it around.

Do you have similar policies that could be shared with other churches? Let us know if you've tackled an issue that is easily overlooked so we can help each other in this important work.

New material for Intergenerational Events

The CRCNA has prepared a new raft of material simply called 'WE' designed to help churches create faith shaping, genuinely intergenerational events (see below why these are important.)

These are not services where children are given activities while adults are addressed, nor are they simply beefed-up Sunday school lessons. Rather around a meal, people of all ages gather, talk, learn, sing and participate in activities that are designed to help the generations mix and share faith. Each event goes for about 1.5 - 2 hours and all the resources needed are included in the outlines.

The event has three parts (with a meal or snack).


Step 1: Welcome, gathering, and building community

Step 2: Learning experiences for all ages

Enter the story through things like dramatic readings or a photo montage combined with a reading. Then live into the story as you do a fun activity.

Step 3: Reflect and praise
Share what you’ve learned, praise God in song, and learn how to “take it further” with ideas for living out what you’ve learned.

You can get a sample here.



Behind the 'WE' curriculum is the belief that intergenerational interaction is vital for healthy faith development. It was certainly the pattern God established for Israel (see Deut 6.) While our traditional  approach of separating children, youth and adults into separate groups has some benefits, it also has had some unintended consequences:

• Children and youth don’t feel like they are an integral part of the church’s life and ministry. They’re a part of “children’s church” or the “youth group.” They feel a sense of belonging to their particular silo rather than to the church as a whole.


• They don’t have an opportunity to see their parents and other adults talk about and live out their faith close-up. They miss out on hearing the “faith stories” that abound in the church—the struggles and triumphs, the doubts and deep faith—that make faith real and ground it in practice.


• Adults lose the opportunity to learn from young people’s faith. Anyone who has spent time around children and teens knows that they can be excellent teachers if adults are listening.

For these reasons WE is a welcome addition to the stable of Reformed material that can be used to build up the people of God.

Why not download the sample and let me know what you think.

Has anyone tried this or another kind of intergenerational event? How did it go?

Relating the Story: A resource for reflection and training.

At a recent team meeting we had a brief training session on how to relate a story. We used the "Relating the story" worksheet to discuss the kinds of questions and statements we can use to effectively relate a story to children.

At his next Sunday school class, one of our children's leaders raised the issue of doubts and questions with his small group of older boys. The result was a raft of questions about God and the Bible that were living just below the surface in each child's mind; "How do you know the Bible is true." "What about miracles?" And the questions went on. The leader was left with some work to do and set about finding helpful ways to handle the questions raised. Then, this week, a parent of one of the boys said that his son, who normally never talks about what happens in children's church, has been full of conversation and enthusiasm about the discussion in his group. It's certainly made an impact and it's all part of relating a story to a child that goes beyond just telling the it.


How well do you ask questions that encourage children to relate to the story? What kinds of statements draw children out, what shuts them down?For example, I will sometimes start with a "I wonder...." statement, followed by the thing in the story which I find interesting or about which I have a question.

What questions and/or statements have you found helpful? Which ones do you avoid?

You can download the worksheet here. Use it with your team.

Dealing with children's doubts.

Do children have doubts? Do they have serious questions? Is dealing with the doubts of children as important as handling the questions of youth or adults?

The reason I ask is two fold. One is because a young lady said of her Sunday School experience, "we were spoon fed pretty much all of the time." I got the distinct impression she felt underestimated as a child, not dealt with seriously and even a little railroaded.

Secondly is the thought provoking description Marcus J Borg gives of his childhood doubt. In his book "Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time" Marcus writes that as a child he first accepted 'Jesus is the divine saviour in whom one is to believe for the sake of receiving eternal life,' "...without difficulty and without effort." The reason being, he says, is that childhood is a state of "precritical naivete - ... in which we take for granted whatever the significant authority figures in our lives tell us to be true is indeed true." But this state of childhood belief was not to last. He goes on,

"Some time in elementary school [between 6 - 8 years old - ed.], my first theological conundrum occurred. I remember being puzzled about how to put together two different things I had heard about God: that God was "everywhere present," and that God was, "up in heaven." ... How could this be? I wondered. My young mind resolved the puzzle in favour of God up in heaven."
All well? Not really.

... unwittingly, I had taken the fist step in removing God from the world. The solution I arrived at indicated that I had come to think of God as a supernatural being "out there." God became distant and remote, far away and removed from the world, except on special interventions, such as the ones described in the Bible.
From there Borg's questions multiplied to the point where as a young adult he confesses, "My childhood understanding of Christianity had collapsed, but nothing had replaced it. I had become a 'closet agnostic,' someone who did not know what to make of it all." Far from minor, Borg's childhood question and the resolution to which he came started a trend of doubt that profoundly affected his faith and his relationship with God.
For me, as someone who ministers to children, it also raises the question of how I handle childhood questions and doubts.
Here are a few thoughts.
1. Remember that a child can have real questions which can have a profound and lasting impact on their life. Children under your care today are battling with such questions.
2. Resist the temptation to overly spoon feed children. It is easy to push information onto children and then feel satisfied that we have taught them something meaningful. Ask yourself, am I giving room for questions? Am I encouraging exploration and dialogue?
3. Create an open climate in which questions are welcome, accepted, explored and tackled.
Never squash or shrug off a child's sincere question. If a child says, "I don't know about..." or "How come...?" or "Is God...?" take time to explore it, follow up and see if there is a way you can help resolve it. If you say you will research an answer make sure you come back with your results.
Actively invite questions. For example, create a question box and devote class time simply to issues about which children have questions. Or, as part of the story/discussion time, have a segment called, "The biggest, stickiest question time" in which you seek sincere questions. As you wrestle with questions with the children you will demonstrate how to handle questions well; how to ask questions of our questions, how to hold fire on things we don't understand, how to see faulty thinking and how to rest in God despite questions. It's a wonderful thing if young children learn early to deal constructively with doubt.
5. Share your own doubts. In this way you will teach children to live in the tension of faith and doubt without feeling the need to reject faith. This, after all, is the tension God's people need always to live in [if you don't believe me, read the psalms]. It's helpful for children to see it in action.
6. Mot importantly, pray regularly for the Holy Spirit to reveal himself to children in ways to dispel doubt and create faith. In the end it is only the Holy Spirit who can settle the troubled mind and work doubt resistant faith.
I sometimes wonder, if Borg had had such an environment and people to which he could go to help him with his questions, would the outcome have been different? I then wonder, with what doubts are our children wrestling today and what will they find in our ministry to help them.

The art of relating a story.

God loves a good story. Forty percent of the Old Testament and almost sixty percent of the New is narrative. For children, story remains a primary way of connecting since their worlds are switched on to imagination and there is nothing that grips them more than a story. Little wonder then, that much of our ministry to children revolves around 'telling the Bible story.'

Yet we need to do more than simply 'tell the story.' We need to rediscover the art of relating the story.

Relating goes beyond mere telling. Telling often mean simply conveying the facts. When we merely tell the story we increasingly find children piping up saying , "I know this one!" and then switch off because they think they've heard it all before.

Relating a story also means more than presuming we know how a story ought to apply to the child's life. While stories may have important punch lines, the same story can impact different children in a number of valid ways. We sell children short if we only seek to apply the story in the way that we think it applies and do not try to discover 'where they're at' in regard to the story and how it touches their life.

What does it mean to relate a story? The dictionary defines relate as,

relate |riˈlāt| verb [trans.]

1 give an account of (a sequence of events); narrate

2 ( be related) be connected ...

• ( relate something to) discuss something in such a way as to indicate its connections with (something else)....

• [ intrans. ] ( relate to) feel sympathy with; identify with...

Relating makes the telling personal. It's a way of sharing the story to connect with the child. Like any relating, the critical factor is two way communication. The art of relating a story is the ability to create a conduit between the child and the story for two-way interaction. As the 'story teller' our task is to facilitate that discussion and to enable and teach children to have a two way conversation with a story.

Relating a story is not just a cute technique. I believe God is ever speaking to children through his word. God also seeks a response, a dialogue, an interaction. He means for it to be personal. When we practice and teach relating as a way of hearing the story we are teaching children to hear and respond to God's Word. In the end, I believe this will be much more fruitful than merely telling, although for us 'story tellers' it may be less comfortable.

In a future blog I will share the content of a guide sheet called 'Relating the Story' that we used at our regular Sunday School leaders meeting as a short training segment (we're trying to do this each time we meet, for about half and hour.)

In the mean time ask yourself, which stories had the greatest impact on you has a child? Why? What connection did they have with you? How was that connection formed in your heart and mind? How might you better help children connect with the story? What obstacles do you face?

Coffee drinking and child Safe.

The other day I received an email that asked,

Can you tell me what’s the correct procedure with regards to people going to a host family's home for youth coffee. Do they need a working with children’s check? Should they fill in the application to serve in children’s youth ministry...?

This is a great question and touches nerves on a number of issues.

• Should 'informal' activities such as coffee and outings be covered in child safe?
• Does child safe take all the fun and spontaneity out of church life?
• "We have never done this before, and nothing has happened, why should we now?"
• Will restrictive child safe practices encourage people to go behind the back of church leadership?
• Is child safe too restrictive?

In all this there are two overriding questions that need to be answered.

1. Is this a church organised event for which the congregation and Church leadership would expect the church to ensure child safety? To put it negatively, if something went wrong would the recrimination be, "We (the church) should have been more vigilant and careful?"

If so, the second question applies,

2. "Who is responsible for the care and protection of children in this situation?"
Whoever that is, they need to be child safe accredited.

The answers to these two questions form the heart of child safety in the church. Any event, outing, or ministry related to the church that involves children (anyone <18) needs to consider and clarify these two issues.

With regard to coffee drinking: if the answer to the first question is 'yes' then the next question needs to be answered regarding child safe qualifications. If the hosts are the responsible adults, then, in the view of child safe, they should be child safe accredited. If the responsibility lies with the youth leaders then they, but not necessarily the hosts, need to be compliant (in some ways you could look at this like going to a restaurant.)

The important thing is that the responsible adults are child safe and that we actively ensure the safety of children under our care in every program or activity under the supervision of our church.

Children's ministry questionnaire. Reviewing your Children's ministry.

For 9 years our church in Wantirna filled out a NCD (Natural Church Development) survey, compared results, reflected and then acted on what we found. Overall, I believe it was very helpful and that a good survey (which NCD is) can be a great tool if it is used well.

From that experience (and from creating and answering some unhelpful surveys!) I've compiled a questionnaire to evaluate children's ministry in the church.

It focuses on the seven areas of: leadership, spirituality, care and safety, organisation, worship, serving and outreach.

It's not as sophisticated as NCD but I believe that with follow up discussion and action it will help churches focus on areas to improve and advance the cause of children's ministry in the church and kingdom.

If you want to use it, please contact me to discuss how best to administrate it.

Oranges and Sunshine: Movie review

Recently I saw Oranges and Sunshine. It's is a compelling* movie that dramatically reinforces the importance of Child Safety, especially in the church.

If you haven't heard, it's the story of Margaret Humphreys, a social worker from Nottingham, who uncovered the secretive, forced migration of around 130,000 children, some as young as four, from the United Kingdom to other commonwealth countries, mainly Australia, during the 50's - 70s. Often told that their parents were dead, many were sent to (religious) children's homes where some were subjected to appalling abuse. They were promised oranges and sunshine, they got hard labour and life in institutions. The film follows Margaret's herculean efforts to reunite thousands to their families and bring authorities to account for this extraordinary miscarriage of justice.

Mercifully, the film spares us images of childhood flashbacks or child abuse. Yet this is the power of the film as it focuses squarely on adults and the affect their childhood experiences had on them. We are reminded that children are trusting, dependent and vulnerable individuals who are deeply affected their whole life by the treatment they receive from adults.

To me, it made me more conscious of the responsibility I, and the church have to treat children well in keeping with the life and love of Jesus.
Ray
*just note, from time to time, there is some very colourful language and the mandatory (not explicit) bedroom scene.

Child Safe training in Victoria and NSW

Two Child Safe training events are planned for July to which all churches are welcome.

1. Victoria:

Team member training only.
Thursday July 7: 7:00 - 9.30pm.
Wantirna Christian Community Church.
15 Cavell St Scoresby

2. NSW.

Team member and Team Leader training.
Saturday 31 July 8:30am - 3:00pm
St Mary's CRCA.
74 Marsden Road, St Marys

Please contact Ray Rus for more details.